Tony Abbott’s ‘Leader’s Call.’

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

In France ‘droit de seigneur’
Is understood by one and all.
Here Tony Abbott would prefer
To translate it as ‘the leader’s call’.

Of course he would prefer
The team to back him to a man
And automatically defer
No matter what the latest plan.

But that’s unlikely to occur.
There’s always a dissenting voice
And someone playing saboteur.
Surely not though Barnaby Joyce?

Happ’ly that very worthy senator
Fighting floods up at St George
Had no time for talk or to confer
And a new tax policy to forge.

So Tony with not a single ‘um’ or ‘er’
Trusting there’d be no remission
Of the rain and and rising water
Went ahead without permission.

Imagine all the rage and flying fur!
Nationals showing real combativeness!
Tony claimed he’d never meant to err
And on his knees he begged forgiveness!

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Abbott Misfires – Arson Charge? – In My Dreams! .

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

Tony Abbott’s famous trial
Created headlines mile on mile,
His guilt it seems writ large,
Cos arson was the charge.

He’d set Waringah all aflame
So he’d achieve much wide acclaim
In fighting back the fire till it was dead.
That’s what the prosecution said.

But remember Tony is a local hero.
The chances of his guilt seem zero.
Of all his colleagues none defected,
Had petitions far and wide collected.

When at last he had his day in court,
He stood there manly as he ought,
Proclaiming he was innocent
With absolutely nothing to repent.

His lawyers claim in his defence
He’d unwittingly been influenced
By a ‘sacred and mysterious weed’
When teaching Aboriginals to read.

The trial is long and still on-going.
National debate just keeps on growing.
How likely is it judge and jury
Will acquit, and blame instead – Pituri?

COMMENTS:

Jane, 10/02/11, Patriciawa, great poem.

Min, 10/02/11, Patricia..that’s brilliant. I had almost forgotten about Abbott’s Lawrence of Arabia moment.

Miglo, 10/02/11, Bravo, Patricia. Worth getting up in the middle of the night to read.

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Germaine Rules! Okay?

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

You should all be furious
How we the wives
Feature in the lives
Of many Aussie pollies!

Aren’t any of you curious
To know if we have pined
While out sight and out of mind
As they enjoy their funded jollies.

Don’t you find it spurious
It’s only when they’re in a bind
P R Os some way will find
To put us centre stage, like dollies!

Please understand it is injurious
And appallingly unkind
To ask us to forgive and put behind
The shame of all their latest follies.

We live by rules of St. Censurius
Who has us all still ironing shirts
Obliged to go to work in skirts
Not in pants, by all that’s Holy!

How come we have forgot Her holy writ which caused such wonder!
Oh, how it changed the rhymes that used to sing so loud inside our heads.
Time for revolution once again, women of the right or left. Time to leave those fractious feds.
Please forgive us dear Ms Greer. You’re still germane and welcome here – Downunder.

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Barnaby Joyce – National Hero

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

St George is under threat of indundation.
Isn’t that where is Barnaby is stationed?
Will there be a headline story
Covering the Senator in glory?
As he too becomes an action man
Following Tony’s brilliant plan.
Surely there’s a dam about to burst
Where we can see a truly National first
As a pollie pulls his finger out
And holds it where a leak has sprout.
I can see the story blazoned there,
The answer to his party’s prayer.
“Hail the local hero, Barnaby Joyce!”
Done without the need to raise his voice.

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More Verses for the Song of Joyce

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

So lefties all let us rejoice!
For they have Barnaby!
He’s out there now with charts to show
How one and one make three.
Queensland has given such a gift,
A talent rich and rare.
No need to rage, at every stage
Their Barnaby is there!
As Tony strains to make some gains
His Barnaby is there!

We lefties all can yet rejoice!
They’ve not dumped Barnaby!
He’s gone to Water in the bush
Where he can roam freely.
Country development will be
His first and major care.
As well he gets to mention debt.
Yes, Barnaby’s still there!
As Tony strains to make some gains
His Barnaby’s still there!

NOTES

I modified this on 07/11/11 for Cafe Whispers, copy to The Political Sword, when it occurred to me that dear old Sloppy Joe fitted just as well Barnaby and could earn a bit more appreciation!

ALP Song of Joe!

So lefties all let us rejoice!
For they have Sloppy Joe!
He’s out there now with charts to show
One into two won’t go.
North Sydney’s given such a gift,
A talent rich and rare.
No need to rage, at every stage
Sloppy Joe is there!
As Tony strains to make some gains
Sloppy Joe is there!

COMMENTS

AntonyG, 07/11/11, Great poem Patricia. I love that one, Tony strains to make some gains.

Feral Skeleton, 07/11/11, PatriciaWA, Brilliant! You could do a whole set of Christmas Carols in the lead-up to the Yuletide Season to be Merry. How about, to start you off, “Good King Tony Alas’, to the tune of Good King Wensceslas?

George, 07/11/11, PatriciaWA, thanks for the smile/laugh :–)

Georgeous Dunny, 07/11/11, Now there’s a thought, George. We’d love to see you two collaborate – your graphics and PatriciaWA’s poems – for a production piece.

gigi, 07/11/11, PatriciaWA – “Sloppy Joe is there.” I simply can’t imagine Joe as a contender. Looking at him makes one think of a sauna … Also he must be on a high-cholesterol diet which has its own potential perils. He is light-weight with his policies and heavy-weight otherwise. Honestly, Joe should play a bit more often with his kiddies

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ALP’s song of Joyce

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

So lefties all let us rejoice
For they have Barnaby.
He’s out there now with charts to show
How one and one make three.
Queensland has given such a gift
A talent rich and rare,
No need to rage, at every stage
Their Barnaby is there.
As Tony strains to make some gains
His Barnaby is there!

COMMENTS:

robbo,     25/02/10,     I know that this is a bit off topic, but could I be so bold as to suggest that Patricia WA be considered as the LP poet in residence?

Zorronsky,   25/02/10.     I’ll second that robbo…Gold!

Ambigulous,  25/02/10.   Patricia is already LP  Poetess Laureate cum laude

gorgeous dunny,   03/12/13,   Lovely verse, Patricia. Thanks.

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Why Barnaby Cannot Rejoyce

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

I’ve got an accountancy degree.
I’ve swotted up the GFC.
Learned all about bank guarantees.
So why won’t the media let me be?
And Tony should be glad to see
I’m out there on a speaking spree.
Instead he’s started punching me
And screaming like some mad banshee!

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Barnaby Cannot Rejoyce

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

Julie’s nice, she’s coaching me
In politics from A to Zee
She is Tony’s Deputy
He told her “Help our Barnaby”.

I’ve a degree in accountancy
So I understand about LSD.
That used to be our currency
Now cents are used instead of Ps.

I’ve swotted up the GFC
Learned all about bank guarantees.
So why must I sit quietly
And not upset Ken Henery?

Tony should be glad to see
I’m out there on a speaking spree.
So why’s he started punching me
And screaming like some mad banshee?

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Barnaby’s Choice – Apologies to Hobson!

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

Barnaby, Oh Barnaby,
What is it you’re gunnabe
In our Shadow Ministry?
Asks Tony who is Coalition One I.C.
I’m giving you the choice to be
Whatever it is you wannabe
When we run Oz eventually.

How about diplomacy?.
You’d have to talk real tactfully.
No? Well let me see,
Climate and the I.P.P.C?
That’s not your cup of tea?
Didn’t you work in accountancy?
It’s obvious – take Treasury!

Wonderful! Says Barnaby.
Great idea! Why, there I’d be
Real use to my constituency,
Changing every license fee
Like that for cutting down a tree.
I can tear apart the A.L.P.
Show how they caused the G.F.C.

‘N Rudd ruined our economy
By borrowing Chinese currency.
But best of all I shall be
Well placed to sack Ken Henery
And stop his foul conspiracy
To sequestrate our forestry
To build his wombat sanctuary!

But Joe’s says he wants Treasury
He’s always been a pal to me
There’s just one choice that’s left you see
It’s Joyce for Finance Ministry!

NOTES:

Barnaby Joyce,  Leader of the Nationals in the Senate, and the only qualified Chartered Accountant in the House, was briefly appointed Shadow Finance Minister in the Senate when Tony Abbott first became Leader of the Opposition.   In February, 2010, Joyce declared that Australia was “going to hock to our eyeballs to people overseas” and was “getting to a point where we can’t repay it“. This led to a response from the Governor of the Reserve Bank, Glenn Stevens, that he had “yet to meet a finance minister who has ever mused any possibility about debt default of his own country” and that there were “few things less likely than Australia defaulting on its sovereign debt“.

After the 2010 election, with the establishment of the Labor government supported by Independents, Barnaby became the Shadow Minister for Regional Development, Local Government and Water and Leader of the Nationals in the Senate.

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Family Values? From Tony Abbott?

Posted on March 9, 2011 by patriciawa

Isn’t it curious
that throughout
this furious
debate
about daughters
who ought to
beware of a fate
worse than death
no one’s
thought to
mention
or brought to
attention
the Abbott’s
agenda
as Virtue’s
defender
isn’t paternal affection
in giving directions
to avoid
male erections.
It’s all about
winning elections!

Update for the Pollbludger, 12/07/12

leone@2767 re Abbott’s views on virginity

He just makes me furious.
His argument’s spurious.
Abbott’s agenda
as Virtue’s defender
isn’t paternal affection.
His giving directions
to avoid male erections
And vaginal infections
Is all about winning elections!

COMMENTS

Victoria,    12/o7/12,   PatriciaWA  Excellent.  How are you feeling?

Patriciawa,    12/07/12,   Much better, thanks Vic. I’m able to sit at my desk on the seat of my zimmer frame and write a bit. Which is heaven!

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