Swearing On The Political Sword?

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

The Tony Abbot sort of ‘God’
Switched me off, a punishing rod.
When my last day on this earth’s trod,
I’ll return content to its good sod.

Having seen how ‘believers’ flog
The poor, the weak, the underdog,
It’s good to find at this great blog
Another soul who swears ‘By Dog!’

I too use the ‘Canon Canine’ –
Others might prefer the Feline.
Some might say Cat’s hardly di-vine.
Dog’s always decent, generous, fine.

But in discussions analytical,
On any point in Oz political,
Here at ‘the Sword’ it can’t be hypocritical
To swear “By Grog!” Or is that too equivocal?

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In The Nick Of Time!

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

Hear that? Just in the nick of time
The Red Queen has again stepped in,
Saved the day with skill sublime.
Causing Mr. Rabbit much chagrin.

Seems that National Broadband Network
Will proceed not much amended.
But greater cause for her to smirk
Is something she had not intended.

The good Senator Zenophon
Has lost his heart to the Red Queen!
Which is an odd phenomenon.
She’s no star of the silver screen!

Well that’s what all the papers say.
Her ear lobes dangle much too low.
Her hair is dyed to hide the gray.
She lacks that special inner glow.

Is that where Mr. Rabbit wins?
His body is so bronzed and lean,
Always front foot with growls and grins,
The fittest pollie ever seen.

Downunderland must make the choice.
Who’s best for PM, has the tools?
Fighter, the sloganeering voice,
Or diplomat who’ll get things done, like Jules?

COMMENTS

Miglo,     25/11/10,    Gold, Patricia. Pure gold

Min,     25/11/10,     Patricia. You are the sort of positive person that is very much needed! I think that Julia is wonderful too. She has a very cheeky smile and laughs in a natural and relaxed manner..no hint of sarcasm there! She is obviously a very intelligent woman but never flaunts this but speaks in a sincere and genuine manner.

Talk Turkey,      25/11/10,    I dips me lid.     Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Patricia!
You really done it this time!
This is the best you ever rhyme!
Political delicia!

Ad Astra,       25/11/10,  Patriciawa, you’ve done it again. I love your conclusion: Who’s best for PM, has the tools? 


lyn,      25/11/10,   Patricia! Love it, love it, couldn’t be more pertinent to Ad’s topic heading, and so very clever, thankyou Patricia. Chagrin.mortified, eh!

Min,      25/11/10,   Patricia’s most excellent poem on the Monday thread was a reminder of how much negativity has been thrown at the government and aimed at Julia Gillard in particular.

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Mr. Rabbit’s All Excited. The Royal Troth At Last Is Plighted.

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

It’s great to hear in ‘Downunderland’
From far away in our Motherland,
After all that prenuptial bedding,
There’s going to be a royal wedding.
The government there is overjoyed.
Here’s something for the unemployed
To smile about as they drink their beer.
Mr. Rabbit sees a problem here.
This marriage should not let Oz forget
The problem of its Great Big Debt.
The Red Queen has been most gracious,
Mr. Rabbit claims that she’s mendacious,
In suggesting that the royal pair
Should visit us, but come by air.
A honeymoon in that Great Big Boat,
Brittania, won’t win anyone a vote.
Now he plans a modern version
Of a famous, long ago excursion.
He’d love to take our ‘Kate and Wills’
On a trip with him to the Adelaide Hills.

Stop Press announcement from the Lodge!
Here’s a question Mr. Rabbit cannot dodge
Without comment that could disparage
The news of another forthcoming marriage.
Yes, the Red Queen to Tim Mathieson,
Attended by Wills and Ms Middleton!
Our PM, leading a proud young nation,
Is now a worldwide media sensation.
Mr. Rabbit, facing certain failure,
Needs something new to excite Australia.
It’s time, he says, not missing a beat,
For Oz to stand on its own two feet.
Then he declares, all brave and hearty,
“I announce today that our great party – ”
He pauses. This is his Rubicon.
“Will henceforth be Republican!”
So he and Malcolm are now requited.
He’s lost the chance of being knighted.
He still has to beat the wily Red Queen,
He prays,” Dear God,  Help me do it without turning Green.”

Comments:

billie  November 18, 2010  Thanks PatriciaWA for your wedding poem!

Ad Astra  November 19. 2010 Very elegant verse. Sir Tony Abbott would have been a fine accolade, but since he’s turned Republican, he’ll have to settle for an AC – Companion of the Order of Abbott’s Coalition.

Feral Skeleton November 19. 2010 PatriciaWA, Great. I think I speak for us all here when I say that we don’t mind when you go off-thread and bark up the ‘wrong’ tree.

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Dear Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

The situation isn’t dire.
We love you as our own live wire,
Not as an object of desire!
Why not just say that you are ‘bi’
Even if it is a lie.
Then if you really are a guy
There’ll be no need to explain why.
No one will here will be at all hurt
If you wear pants and not a skirt.
We don’t come to the Sword to flirt.
Right minded types may well throw dirt
And even say the site’s obscene.
You’ve been deceitful and unclean!
They’d long suspected you were Green!
Yes, they’ll write and vent their spleen.
They will sneer, ‘Birds of a feather
Always have gathered together.’
Then they’ll get into a dither
As they start wondering whether
Other people they know will say,
‘Doesn’t that mean you too are gay?’
Then, at last, they’ll go away!
So we who are Left can shout, “Hooray!”

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Maintaining Rage

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

Malcom Fraser –
Once you were
“Kerr’s cur”
And still are so for me,
Notorious
In Australian history
For destroying
Our democracy.
Softer now and
Old and grey,
Elder statesman,
All that evil
Gone away?
Still you represent
For me
The worst
By which
Society is cursed –
Patriarchy,
Patronage,
Benovolence
Of a by-gone age,
Once denier of
My suffrage.
Many have forgot
Those things.
I have not.
Even Gough may
Have forgiven you.
Again I say
That I have not.

Ad Astra,      13/11/10,      What a fine addition to TT’s piece you have penned – simple but powerful. Them’s fighting words.

Lyn,       13/11/10,   Hi Patricia WA,  You little Poppy Girl, you!   You didn’t tell us, and I have just found your very lovely story over at “Cafe Whispers”,  most enjoyable, beautiful, story……  “From Fremantle Where the Poppies Grow.”

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News Ltd Defends Its Proprietor

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

What’s this talk of media bias?
We at News are honest, pious,
We meet our readership’s desires.
Yes, some are climate change deniers.
That’s why Greenies, fans of Gaia’s,
Sneer as if we were pariahs!
Pacifists who promote ceasefires
Say we collude with arms suppliers.
We can always claim ‘ultra vires’
If a politician enquires
Into why this or that transpires.
Anyway they’re just leftie liars.
We just report, as Rupert requires.
‘Cos we know he’s the man who hires
Only journos whom he admires.
We also know of those he fires
On each new paper he acquires.

Don’t hope for this to change when he expires.
We will survive.   Just look how well he ‘sires’
And know, this man we’ve helped build these empires
Plans to be the first whom not even death retires.

COMMENTS:

Ad Astra, 08/11/10, Patriciawa  Thank you for your sombre verse.     And your sobering conclusion.

Donald Oats, 08/02/11, Like the poem, Patricia WA.

Talk Turkey, 17/11/10, PatriciaWA,   Thank you for your declaration of envy! I think that perhaps envy is an even sincerer form of praise than imitation . . . Not that with your prolificity articulation passion and other top qualities you have anything to be envious of anyone about. You rock.  You’re right.  They rhyme’s inexorable, but it don’t help, eh?  So…..

Biggger than Walmart, bigger than Myers,
Friend of Bush’s, Howard’s, Bliar’s,
He whom Zion most admires,
He who pulls all global wires,
He to whom all power aspires,
He who bigger fish to fry has,
He whom none has been as sly as,
He whom none can fly as high as,
What I can’t work out is why has
God not lit his funeral pyres?
Oh – Rupert’s bought God’s heavenly choirs!    Talk Turkey. 

Min, 27/01/13, Patricia, that is absolutely BRILLIANT. Patricia at her finest.

Miglo, 27/01/13, That was brilliant, Patricia. 🙂

Truth Seeker, 27/01/13, Patricia, nice one, is the wrist improving or are you working in spite of?
Either way well done 😀 Cheers 🙂 😀

Patriciawa, 27/01/13, Recycled stuff, I’m afraid, TS. Wrist is much improved though so I’m hoping this damned plaster will be off within ten days. Creative juices not flowing too well these days so having a backlog going back a few years is handy. Some issues just keep on coming back, don’t they!

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Why Only No News Is Good News These Days

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

Here’s good news that should be aired.
Of anywhere to live Oz is almost best.
A UN Report has just declared
Norway’s first, Australia beats the rest!
Would you believe our personal wealth
Of all the world’s amongst the highest,
Plus education and general health?
“Sorry, but that report is biassed.”
Tony Abbott would make that claim.
He’d say the United Nations
Are working with the devious aim
To show Oz an ideal destination
For people smugglers everywhere.
This will bring hordes across the seas
Who all believe that we must share
With them, just because they’re refugees.
There’s the Coalition’s line today!
This report’s no cause for celebration.
Expect Abbott and his team to say
It’s unfairly targeting our nation.
Of course the other line he might yet take
Could be attacking Gillard with his usual zest
Blaming her government for this and that mistake
Which made Australia only second best.

Jess  January 3, 2011 @Patricia – love the poem! 🙂

billie  January 3, 2011 Thanks for another sterling piece of pertinent poetry.

Ad Astra  November 5. 2010 Patriciawa Thank you for yet another piece of delightful satirical verse that illustrates so well how easy it is for an opposition to turn good news into bad.

Nasking  November 5. 2010 Patriciawa…Applause. Well said. As ever. Abbott’s a jerk. Full stop.

Miglo  06/11/2010 Patricia, that pome is up there with your best. Beyond brilliant.

jane  November 6, 2010 Patricia, great pome.

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Tony Abbott – Not Even Half An Iron Man!

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

Liberal ladies had expressed regret
When the chances turned out zero
An opportunity they’d get
A full frontal of their hero.

He’d entered a ‘half’ iron man cup,’
Not bare skinned on Sydney beaches,
But further north where they cover up,
Wearing waist to ankle breeches.

It was a race I thought he’d win.
Instead he was an ‘also ran.’
Yeah, Tony should have romped it in.
Seeing it was for only half a man.

Up there he didn’t get a place,
While down in Sydney Joe poured scorn
On his idea for a new tax base.
So the weekend left him pretty worn.

And Friday he was so full of hope!
‘Tax reform’ plus ‘Beefcake’  pix!  Maybe
He’d have upstaged Gillard!  What a dope!
He can’t compete with our Oz Iron Lady!

NOTES   Tony Abbott participated in the  ‘Half-Ironman’ or Triathlon competition, at Port Macquarie, NSW, in October, 2010.   Just finishing the somewhat gruelling course, even as an ‘also ran‘ in an event which attracted thousands, must have been some comfort to him after his defeat in the federal election a few months earlier.  Mind you, his election loss was a near miss in a tied result – or ‘hung’ parliament and he could have been a winner and become Prime Minister back then had he been a better negotiator (or more credible perhaps) with the four cross bench MPs (two Greens and two Independents) who decided they preferred to trust Ms Julia Gillard, leader of the Australian Labor Party.

Our first woman PM, Julia Gillard, whose brief tenure of high office was outstandingly productive, due in large measure to her ability to gain consensus across parties on a range of issues, some of which had defied resolution for decades.  Even Abbott himself referred to her as Australia’s own Iron Lady.  Which I found somewhat ironic in view of Abbott’s well known disparaging views on women.   Though he did express admiration for the original British Iron Lady, the Conservative Former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.

COMMENTS   

Miglo,  01/11, 2010,  Another gem, Patricia.

Nasking,  01/11/ 2010,  LOL Patricia. Indeed. Good poem BTW.

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Half An Iron Man?

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

Liberal ladies have expressed regret
That the chances now are zero
An opportunity they’ll get
To view in full their hero.

They love to watch their Manly man
Compete on Sydney’s beaches,
But this time there’s a cover-up plan
For waist to ankle breeches,

Still no doubt they’ll like it
When Tony appears on tele,
Still looking bronzed and very fit,
With his flat and rippling belly.

Because here’s a race that he might win.
In fact, he very likely can.
Yeah, Tony ought to romp it in.
After all, it’s for only half a man.

And that other race he might’ve won?
Today he would be elsewhere – maybe
Amidst world leaders up in Vietnam,
Upstaging Gillard, Australia’s Iron Lady.

Comments:

Hillbilly Skelton,  30/10/010, I had a great big smile on my face when I read your latest pome. It’s too true. I mean, who wants to see Tony Abbott gallivanting around in the almost altogether.

Ad Astra, 30/10/2010 Patricia WA I wish I had your gift for putting so cleverly into verse what would sound much less impressive in regular language. I suspect that Tony’s Iron Man efforts will get as much attention, perhaps even gravitas, from the media than Julia’s meetings in Vietnam.   Sadly,  that is the juvenile mindset of most of the media.

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Nudists Resist CCTV Cameras On Beaches

Posted on March 12, 2011 by patriciawa

I thought that nudists really liked not wearing any clothes.
Don’t they all think fashions are an artificial pose?
Why would it worry them if CCTV footage shows
That they delight in being naked, just as they were at birth?
Nude sun baking on beaches or bare boarding in the surf
Would surely clearly demonstrate their joy in Mother Earth.

COMMENTS

Kevin Rennie,     28/10/2010: Patricia, I love your poems.  A true romantic.

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