Did someone mention St. George?

Did you say St George?

Once under threat of indundation?
Where Barnaby has his station?
Wasn’t there a headline story,
Covering our Senator in glory?
No, that was just some crazy plan,
A dream of being Action Man.

When their dam seemed about to burst.
He thought he’d be a National first;
A pollie who pulled his finger out
And held it where a leak had sprout!
Driving, he saw that headline there,
The answer to his party’s prayer:

Local Hero! Barnaby Joyce!

“I had to do it! I had no choice!”
That’s what, in his delirium, he said,
Lying on his hospital bed.
He’d almost drowned in a flooded creek.
Not a dam that had sprung a leak,
Which he kept repeating. More bizarre,
Though less fevered, was, “What can I claim on a government car?”

Comments

Feral Skeleton,     21/04/11,      Patricia WA, Twinkling verse! It certainly brightens up my day.

janice,     24/04/11,      Patricia, I’m running out of words of praise for your work. Perhaps I could just give you 10 stars for this one 🙂

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Hardly A Nationals’ Anthem

Australian lefties all rejoiced!
There once was Barnaby
As Shadow Finance Minister
Whose one and one made three!
Queensland had given such a gift,
A talent rich and rare.
No need to rage, at every stage
Their Barnaby was there!
As Tony strained to make some gains
His Barnaby was there!

Australian lefties still rejoiced!
They daren’t dump Barnaby!
He went to Water in the bush
Where he could roam freely.
Country development would be
His first and major care.
As well, you bet, he mentioned debt.
Yes, Barnaby stayed there!
As Tony strained to make some gains
His Barnaby was there!

Australian left again rejoice!
For here is Barnaby!
A Nationals man with foot in mouth,
A ‘Windsor’ wannabe!
New Englanders are offered up
A chance soon to compare.
Now they can rage, and we can guage
If Barnaby they’ll bear!
As Abbott strains to make some gains
Barnaby is there!

Comments

Pip,     19/04/11,    Patricia, your latest should be sung out loud, wherever we go!

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What Can Our PM Do That’s Right?

Just read what all the papers say.
Australians wish she’d go away.
Her ear lobes dangle far too low
She speaks like us and much too slow.
She’s a ranga too,  red headed.
What d’you mean,  she’s level headed?

Yet,  the French would love her sang-froid.
Russians would make her a Commissar,
But our media,  a ship of fools,
Just heap insults on our Jules.
Well, this is the Land Downunder,
They’ll pick any leftie blunder.

The Brits would admire her mettle,
That courage and her fine fettle.
Just compare her calm composure,
With the constant self exposure
Of our Opposition leader,
National dailies’ headline feeder.

Bare chested, rising from the sea!
“Come on cameras!  Here!  Look at me!”
Ask a question he doesn’t like
He’s off away and on his bike!
While he works out and runs for fun,
She’s just works.  Look at all she’s done.

Our economy ‘swans’ along,
Still, we worry;  things could go wrong!
Not about things like climate change!
But the dollar’s impact on price range.
Any stronger we’ll have to claim
Compensation.   She’ll be to blame!

Elsewhere the world is suffering Hell.
Here things are going far too well.
So many people are employed
Too little leisure’s now enjoyed.
Oz needs that time to bitch and fight.
This PM must go!   Only then will ‘she be right!’

Comments

Min,     19/04/11,     Patricia, love it!! Also, the link to Grog is a ripper. There are so many quotable quotes there.

Pip,     19/04/11,    Patricia, I’m with Min, love it. As for Mr. Grog, I don’t know how he does it either and I hope he doesn’t stop!

Janice,     25/04/11,    Another of your gems, Patricia. Love your pomes

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Is This Article Right Thinking By Someone With A Left Dominant Brain?

A ‘too active right amygdala’
Produces the conservative brain?
Why Abbott seems like Caligula
To me is now so easy to explain!

‘Left anterior cingulate cortex
Expansion’
is why Labor and Greens
Have such ‘liberal’ policies on sex,
And come together behind the scenes!

It’s good to have this information,
We must make sure that it gets around,
It is important that our nation
Understand a concept so profound.

Much confusion over that word, ‘right’
When party differences are strong,
Means issues the left thinks worth a fight,
The right will challenge and say are ‘wrong!’

They describe as truly ‘sinister’
Our Labor leader, Julia Gillard.
And since she has been Prime Minister
She’s been attacked with slanderous canard.

Conservative Abbot, yelling, “Theft!”
Swears on climate change that black is white,
While science pleads just one conclusion’s left,
That for next PM he isn’t right!

I see they’re asking readers to donate.
Their request is vague and somewhat loose.
What is it they want? They should be straight.
Put these different traits to use.

They should ask the ‘right’ for a cash donation,
They won’t give their brains for post mortem research.
Just offer them relief on their taxation.
Promise, “Funeral costs, as you drop off your perch!”
And science will be left ‘left’ brains aplenty. Right?

Comments

Janice, 25/04/11 One word, Patricia. Clever!

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A Heavy Duty?

Polliepomes has had a formal complaint.
Their post on Gina had a sexist taint.
To list her among Australia’s beauties
Ignored a weightier issue – Death Duties!
This lady, clearly of substantial means,
Would be an easy target for the Greens.
But recently they’ve gone all pragmatic,
Dropped that idea, with import dramatic
For mining magnates who inherit wealth.
Sad that, because it could improve their health.
This lady with far too much cash to spend
Would benefit with less, as would her friend,
That heavyweight Queenslander, Clive Palmer,
Like her he could be another charmer,
But, too often at the Ritz and Hyatt,
Both ignore advice about their diet!
Governmment should intervene, help both of them.
They are addicts and we should not condemn,
Instead deploy those special powers of state
For Income Management ’til they lose weight.

Comments

Miglo,
08/04/11, Brilliant, Patricia. My summary would be much meaner.

Acerbic Conehead, 09/04//11, Patricia WA, Thank you for that very clever poem on Gina’s and Clive’s problem of carrying too much weight in their bank accounts. As you point out, it’s bad for their health and, anyway, if their financial waistlines were thinner, there would be more to go around for everyone else.

Feral Skeleton, 09/04//11, PatriciaWA, Your linguistic dexterity is a wonder to behold!

Ad Astra, 09/04//11, Patricia WA We do always enjoy your pomes.

 

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The Rehabilitation Of Kevin The Terrible of Australia

Rather less then a year ago
Our Australian media had judged
That Kevin Rudd had sinned.
He was undone because found out.
Their view, broadcast far and wide,
Showed him unfit for public office.
He was once seen in a night club.
He had berated an air hostess.
He had worked too hard.
He had expected too much of others,
But engendered such fear
That colleagues spoke no ill of him,
‘Til he began to heed the Oracle, Newspoll.

Then Party men agreed;
Publicly eating his own ear wax,
Raising his voice in interview
With redoubtable Red Kerry,
Privately expressing impatience
With agents of all powerful China,
Were not acceptable.
His affectation of a gentle mien,
Pretence of domestic harmony,
With loving wife, cat, dog and
Children, did not convince.
Nor did bringing us prosperity
Amidst the chaos of a broken world.

None of that availed.
His great wrongdoing then, it seemed,
Was placing the welfare of the common man,
The national economy and body politic
Before the powerful interests
Of international conglomerates,
Whose rights to the riches of our land
Transcended all others.
All that because of anger in his heart
Against a father now long dead.
For that he had attacked
The powerful, the great, the good,
Our mighty mining magnates.

Have those fathers of this nation,
More generous to their media sons,
Than that would-be patricide,
Decided he should be forgiven?
Or is he seen of use to them,
A means to bring ruin to
The harridan who succeeded him?
Does the devil they once knew
Now seem benign in comparison?
Does her defiance of the Oracle,
Newspoll, cause them to fear
She will achieve those very things
For which he was in truth condemned?

Comments

Miglo 05/04/11 Patricia, I’ve lost count of the number of people who have asked me if Kevin will get his old job back. I’ve been replying in the negative but secretly I don’t rule it out as a possibility.

BSA Bob
05/04/11 I like this. Rudd’s temporary “rehabilitation” is entirely at the whim of a media focused on the destruction of this Government. I remember a short article in the Oz by (I think) Chris Wallace along the lines of “the Canberra press gallery has left Rudd & it won’t be going back.” Are we now expected to forget that the media set its mind to Rudd’s destruction? I guess we are.

Pip
06/04/11 Very true patriciawa. Last night on Qanda Kevin Rudd answered questions, and named no names and as far as one can tell, told no lies, but that was enough for the press to have a field day.

Kevin Rennie 07/04/11 Thanks, Patricia. We have to keep some sense of history. The current sorry state of political analysis and debate and media coverage mirror the Whitlam experience after the 1974 election. The gloves came off and anything became permissible. Wreckers become heroes. Rumour becomes fact. Vested interests become national interests. Multinational bullies become victims. Scientists become conspirators. Lowlife political creeps and media sleazes become opinion leaders. We have no option but to keep our cool and campaign with ideas and not bile.

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‘A Picture Speaks A Thousand Words’

angry-abbott

’Over four thousand years ago
Wise Chinese rulers seemed to know
An image outweighs any word.
So often has that truth been heard
An experienced politician
Always looks for that position
Which shows his most attractive side;
Smiling, friendly, nothing to hide.
Let’s rejoice that Tony Abbott
Hasn’t learned this useful habit,
Nor pondered on the reason why,
Unlike himself, the camera does not lie.

Comments

Pip,      29/03/11,      Well said, patriciawa

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Even More Revolting People!

Tony Abbott stands in front of an anti-Julia Gillard protest sign – ABC News

Yes! Mr. Abbott did indeed appear,
When, transported from across Australia,
A crowd turned up to roar support and cheer.
‘We’re behind ya, Tony! We won’t fail yer!’
Sorry, that accent’s wrong. These weren’t bogans,
But, as Tony said, ‘good, decent people.’
You can read their placards with their slogans
Which each proclaims  a guiding ‘principle.’

The Shooters Party wants to ‘bring back guns!’
And The League of Rights just don’t like blacks,
But nostalgia for WWII and Huns?
What’s all that to do with the Carbon Tax?
Well, it helped to bring to a fever pitch
Opposition to the PM, ‘Juliar!’
Who was depicted as that ‘Bob Browns Bitch!’
Backdropped with flames and medieval fire.

So, Mr. Abbott had an easy job,
Working that crowd, urging them to ‘Come on!’
Join with him and his Coalition mob,
Fighting Julia Gillard’s tax on carbon.
Did I mention Pauline Hanson was there?
Perhaps she should have asked him, “Please explain
Why female politicians with red hair
Upset you so much and drive you insane!”

Notes:

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Tony Abbott Is A Newspoll Denier!

Last year, in the late March Newspoll,
Rudd was top, Abbott in a hole.
His PR team did not despair,
Nor weep and wail and tear their hair.
They had a task they would not shirk.
Four months later had it begun to work?
His former rival, Rudd, was gone.
Now Gillard challenged him, “It’s on!”

And so this guy who loved to surf
Expressed his love for mother earth.
Now, in an election running,
Fitness counted less than cunning.
Still, lycra clad and on his bike,
He’d face any camera or mike,
And battle every ‘Big New Tax’
As if wielding his fireman’s axe.

No wonder that his pride was stung,
When after Parliament was hung,
The casting votes were not for him.
His view of that was very dim.
Early thoughts of ‘kind and gentle’
Were forgot as he went mental!
Not Cross Benchers’ preferred PM?!?
So what if Newspoll agreed with them!

In the House, suited, dutiful,
No more bare, bronzed and beautiful,
At division he still lost votes,
In spite of slogans, ‘Stop the Boats!’
That campaign too, long and heavy,
‘Gainst helping Queensland with a levy.
Forget lost ground on the NBN,
Now here’s a ‘Big New Tax’ again!

Gillard planning to price carbon
Roused him more than any hard-on.
Now he’d have his Peoples Revolt!
Then this Newspoll! This awful jolt!
Just when he’s proved the PM lied
He’s told his dreams of power have died!
“No!!!” protests Abbott, all defiance.
“Psephology? Crap! Like climate science!”

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Revolting People

Abbott’s people are revolting,
He claimed, as he made clear the facts
Of their courage in assaulting
The Greens’ and Labor’s Carbon Tax.

The Peoples’ Revolt would not fail!
They would rise up, protest and fight
Against Julia Gillard’s betrayal
Of all that’s valued by the Right.

They’d fight this tax every second
Of every minute of every day!
They’d never give up, he reckoned,
Cos that’s the Coalition way.

Last Saturday hundreds turned out
With banners, giving angry voice
‘Gainst thousands who came out to shout
Opposing them with bands and noise.

Last night’s demo in Adelaide
Saw some fifteen brave souls appear
Standing silent but unafraid
Of hundreds of gays who came to leer.

There are reports that Andrew Bolt
Heads the next march. Yes, he’ll express
The spirit of this great revolt
Fired by the might of the Murdoch press!

19/03/2010 Patricia WA – LATE PRESS!  

Bolt didn’t go to Port Macquarie
P’rhaps that explains why only eight
‘Brave souls’ showed up. But don’t worry!
Tony’ll come next time. Watch for the date!

COMMENTS

Ad astra,   17/03/11     What an appropriate piece of verse.  I think Andrew Bolt would run a mile from any protest that portrayed them in such a poor light.  He is a show pony who needs lots of adoring sycophants – just look at his blog respondents!

Talk Turkey, 17/03/11  Good one Girl.   You know I LOVE double rhyming and I know how hard it can be. Isn’t it great when you pull it off perfectly! 

Catching Up,
19/03/11    Patriciawa,  Maybe we are wrong about the great uprising, maybe we just cannot see because the revolt is being held in secret.

Bacchus,  19/03/11 Maybe they’re all protested out?

Miglo, 19/03/11, Patricia, love your pomes.  It took a while but I found my post of the 17th about the big anti-carbon rally, and, like you , I can’t find a word about it now. The source of the story hasn’t updated yet.   Agree CU, it must have been held in secret!  I’ll have a search for a local Port Macquarie paper and see what I can find.

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