The situation isn’t dire.
We love you as our own live wire,
Not as an object of desire!
Why not just say that you are ‘bi’
Even if it is a lie.
Then if you really are a guy
There’ll be no need to explain why.
No one will here will be at all hurt
If you wear pants and not a skirt.
We don’t come to the Sword to flirt.
Right minded types may well throw dirt
And even say the site’s obscene.
You’ve been deceitful and unclean!
They’d long suspected you were Green!
Yes, they’ll write and vent their spleen.
They will sneer, ‘Birds of a feather
Always have gathered together.’
Then they’ll get into a dither
As they start wondering whether
Other people they know will say,
‘Doesn’t that mean you too are gay?’
Then, at last, they’ll go away!
So we who are Left can shout, “Hooray!”