Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men at the hub
To decide who the PM will be?
Windsor? Oakshott,? and Katter
Who’s as mad as hatter?
Who are they to be judging me?

Rub a-dub-dub.
Now here is the nub –
My accounts are clean as can be.
Please trust Hockey and Robb
Who have done a good job
Our audit reports all agree.

Rub-a-dub-dub,
We’re not in the scrub.
Right now we’re on national TV.
You can say what you like –
I’ll just get on my bike
The cameras will soon follow me.

Rub-a-dub-dub,
You won’t join my club?
Haven’t you been listening to me?
You think I’m a failure?
I can’t rule Australia?
You’re going to vote Julia, not me?

Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in one tub?
What a pity it wasn’t three.
I’d for sure scuttle them
Make myself the PM
And have them towed right out to sea!